I believe in us not dimming our lights/shrinking ourselves in order to make others feel good, being afraid of making them feel insecure around us, and not think about what others will think or say about us…
But I had a big aha moment the other day when I found myself doing exactly that in a zumba class and it wasn’t the first time.
I attend a yoga class at a community center on Sundays and a few weeks ago, when I got there we were told there won’t be any yoga today and it will be zumba as there was a last minute change with the instructor.
I thought ok, shall I stay or leave as I wasn’t mentally ready for zumba and didn’t have sneakers on? I chose to stay as some of my classmates wanted support as they had never participated in a zumba class and since I enjoy dancing, I thought let’s go for it.
As the class was going on, I realized I wasn’t allowing myself to fully show up and really move my body but after a while I did. The instructor and one of her students who is used to her classes were looking at me and she asked me where I was from.
I’m used to this question a lot because whenever I’m dancing Latin music, I’m always asked that same question and often they assume I’m Latina. I always proudly say I’m from Haiti.
In between songs at some point, some people made comments about having the people who are “good” go up front so they can better keep up. I always tell people in my classes or friends it’s not about being good and keeping up, it’s about having fun and letting lose.
But I clearly wasn’t letting lose in the beginning of the class.
I realized I had done this as well a few months ago in another zumba class and also many years ago. I had dimmed my light by trying to hide in the back of the class or just move my body slowly in order for others to not feel insecure around me, judge me, question me, anything to keep the focus off me.
In a zumba class a few months ago, I was in the back and the instructor who noticed I was new to her class asked me to come up front before she started her class as a way to watch me and I’m guessing making sure I can see her to follow.
Once I let loose I always get the same reaction from people, they usually asked me the same questions and tell me how I dance really well. I taught zumba for a few years and have been dancing Latin music since my adolescent years growing up in Haiti so it’s really in me.
Music moves me and when I dance I am fully my true self.
I got I hide and dim my light because I don’t want to make the instructors feel insecure. And yes I do have the fear at times that people will think I’m showing off.
That’s my ego telling me to play small and it’s also my ego that thinks that I’m so good at it that I must play small so I don’t outshine the instructors.
Once I fully got this and the impact it was having on me and others, I made a commitment to fully show up everywhere because I’m not only doing a disservice to myself, I’m also doing a disservice to others.
As a former Zumba instructor, I know I used to compare myself to other instructors at times, be shy at times and how seeing my students really enjoy my class was a great feeling so I want to give that same feeling to the instructors.
And if they feel insecure, I get it’s on them. While it’s not my intention, I cannot let that stop me from showing up fully. By fully showing up, I will inspire other people in the class to show up fully as well.
I may also inspire the instructors to show up fully as well because when I show up as my true self, I will inspire them to do the same and not allow fear to rule them. When we’re in fear and comparison mode, we aren’t fully showing up in our lives.
I am fully committed to living those two quotes that really inspire me, one is from my first and best spiritual teacher, Marianne Williamson and the other is from me that I also shared in the featured image here.
“As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. “Marianne Williamson
“Don’t dim your light in order to please those who may disapprove of you, feel insecure around you or may say “who does she think she is?”Tweet it! [tweetable]Shine bright dear, the world needs your light.”[/tweetable]Nadjejda Chapoteau
The reason why I’m able to be self-aware is due to my commitment to my spiritual growth.
Going inward and reflecting regularly have gotten easier for me over the years due to my daily meditation practice and taking time to just be whether at home or in nature.
Now it’s your turn, is there an area of your life where you’re not fully showing up? Are you not letting loose and being your true loving, fun, and beautiful self because you’re afraid of making others feel insecure or what they’ll think or say about you?
Share your thoughts and experience in the comment section below, I love hearing from you! 🙂
If something came up for you that you would like to explore at a deeper level, please click here to request a 30 minute free clarity call with me. I’d be honored to offer you some guidance with whatever has come up for you.
With love and light,
Nadjejda