Many years ago, a friend, asked me if I wanted to be right or happy? Since then, I have heard it often, asked myself that question many times and I’ve asked it to others as well. Recently, I got this message that said do you want to choose being right or being love. I loved it as I hadn’t heard it put that way before and didn’t know what was coming next.  About an hour later, I got an e-mail that someone wanted to talk to me so she asked me to call her. To give a bit a background, I created the intention to speak my truth and had been taking action and it appeared one of my truthful conversation didn’t go well.

While I was on the phone with the person who was the middle person in this situation, I noticed my ego and my true self battling each other as some things that were being said weren’t true. I said to myself, are you going to choose to be right or be love? Now the message made more sense to me as I was being confronted with this situation. I know I wanted to give up being right and choose love but my ego didn’t want to give up being right. I spend the whole day and a few days later battling this.

So how does one choose to be love over being right:

      1. Take a few deep breaths.

I’ve learned that when we’re upset or stressed, we’re not breathing so it’s important to remember to go back to your breath. I’ve learned this through my yoga practice and compassionate forgiveness journey. When we stop breathing, all the stressful and anxious energy isn’t being released. That day and a few days later, I spent a lot of time breathing and taking deep breaths whenever I felt the stress and anxious feeling over this situation coming back.

     2. Release the need to call someone specifically anyone to vent at the moment. Instead choose wisely who you will reach out.

When we’re upset and even when something good happens, we want to reach out and tell someone about it. When we’re upset many times we’re looking for someone who will agree with us and say we’re right and this can actually keep you from being love. That day, for a moment while I was upset I wanted to call someone to vent but I chose a long time ago to reach out in these moments to people who would be compassionate towards me and lead me toward what I really want which is to be love. At the time, I couldn’t think of anyone who was available that can play that role. So I chose to breathe and meditate in that moment.

     3. Take some time to reflect before taking any action.

Often we want to deal with a situation right away. Most things can wait unless it’s a life threatening issue that needs to be addressed now. Relax and ask yourself what do I really want in this situation? What’s the best outcome that I can foresee in this situation? Who am I and how do I want to show up in life? For me, it is showing up as love as I stand in my power and speak my truth. I was on unchartered territory as being love and speaking my truth is still new for me in difficult situations as in the past, I would either get upset, feel attacked and make rushed decisions that I later regretted. But we learn and grow as that’s why we’re here on earth. So I knew I wanted to show up as love and do my best to salvage this relationship as I speak my truth.

     4. As you envision the outcome you want to let go of any attachments of how it needs to be. 

Often, we want a particular outcome and we do everything in our power to make it happen but we get attached to that outcome and get really upset when it doesn’t happen. While it’s not easy when we want something to not get attached to it, there is a freedom in knowing we’re doing the best that we can and leave the outcome up to the universe. [tweetable]When you choose love, speak your truth and allow things to unfold as they are meant to; you’ll feel free. [/tweetable] I’ve learned and continue to learn this.  In my situation, I later reach out when I was calmed and did salvage the relationship while I continue to speak my truth and be love.

The keys to choosing being love instead of being right especially in difficult moments are to breathe, reflect and meditate on who you are and how you want to show up in the world, reach out to a compassionate friend if needed, speak your truth lovingly, do the best that you can and allow life to flow.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this or share your own story of choosing being love over being right, thanks!

Love and light!